Saturday, June 05, 2004

Another notch in the belt

Tonight is the quarterly office party at the local watering hole. The tap will run for hours before our branch manager will realize we've once again taken advantage of him. He deserves it. None of us can stand him. He's never been a broker in his life, yet he proceeds to tell us how to run our businesses. Besides the fact that he's a jerk, his good qualities include being a kiss-ass, vindictive, and narrow-minded. Only the very unlucky get to view his bad qualities. He's been banging his assistant for a year now and thinks we don't know it. Her name is Bianca and she's part of the School of Sharks.

If this party goes like the others, Bianca will show up in a skirt similar to those she wears to the office. Sarah said it's 14 inches long. Sarah doesn't like Bianca, either, but Bianca will gossip with her so once a week they go to lunch together and then I have to listen to all of the shit Sarah has learned, hence the reason I know of the affair. Mrs. Branch Manager will be there, blitzed out of her mind on vodka tonics, and Bianca will take his right in his wife's absence. Jasmine will show up wearing something so unbelievably sexy and classy at the same time that I'll pretend for the first hour I don't even see her. A few beers will vanish as Mike builds up his courage to once again ask Jasmine if she's ever swung. Cliff will excuse himself to the restroom, then come back with his head in the stratosphere and a big smile. Cliff never drinks, remember. Alcohol is bad for you.

By 10pm, Jones, which is his last name since we have 3 John's at our branch, will have slipped his business card into the waitress's pocket and offered her the world. Jones has had a run of bad luck. He found out last year that his wife has been banging her boss for a year, since right after the birth of their son. Seems to be a lot of that going around. The waitress will see the $1,000 suit and brand new H2 parked outside and think he's rolling in it and fuck him. Jones will sober up and in that good-ole-boy charm of his he'll explain that he's still in love with his ex-wife, shower, and move on to the next easy target.

I usually go business casual to these things, but I think I will just go casual this time. I wonder if Jazz will wear her hair up again.