Saturday, June 19, 2004

Dinner with a side of chickenshit

Jasmine's ass was on my island. I'll never place another pile of crap in the spot again. I had the foresight to call in advance for the theater tickets and they were sold out. No problem, I had a backup plan. I cooked her dinner here at my house.

Oh, I know, I rock. But the night isn't through yet.

So back to Jazz's ass, I spent 40 minutes trying to look like I'd just thrown on the nearest Old Navy threads. She called from the liquor store down the street and asked what kind of wine I wanted. I don't drink that shit. I told her the kind called scotch. No use pretending to be something I'm not. And there are so many things that I am not why add more to the list?

Focus! Jazz's ass! Anyway, she showed up with a bottle of Laguvalin and just looked amazing. She smelled amazing. Oh shit, man did I ever want to know if the sense of taste would follow the others. She sat on the kitchen island while I put the dinner together and kept sampling the ingredients and licking her fingers. With Jasmine, though, I don't think she's playing games. She's very blunt and makes direct eye contact without blinking. That's my impression at least. Maybe she's playing me right now.

As a general rule, I have no general rules. I won't lie, there's no invisible barrier I won't cross on a first date. But the more I like a girl for her personality the less likely I am to push for anything physical early on. Usually because she's some ugly bitch my friends forced me to go out with.

I made one move on her all night, and that was while she was sitting on my island. I stepped up between her legs and grabbed her by the belt loops of her jeans to slide her forward. Oh damn she smelled great and she was smiling, looking dead at me with those green eyes of hers. I leaned in so close I felt her nose touch my cheek and then I fucking stepped back!

I stepped back without kissing her! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I do that? Dammit, I had her. I was there, right there. Between her thighs, my hands on her hips, her crotch against my belly and I fucking stepped back! She laughed and jumped down but that was that, like it never happened. The rest of the night was very casual and relaxed but I never got that close again. Even when she left, I was sitting on the floor and she walked back in from the bathroom, bent and kissed the top of my head like I was a damn dog or something, and said she'd call me.

Did I blow it? I think I blew it. She thinks I'm gay, doesn't she?