Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Fake or real? Who cares?

Cliff went to a nudist resort recently and felt compelled to share his venture with the rest of the male brokers. By the way, ladies, that's what we men do after a trip to a nudist colony, we come back and talk about your bodies. Yes. We're pigs. So anyways (that was just for you NotCuredYet), the topic of boobs came up, because that's what brokers managing your money are really interested in, whether or not the highbeams are on and if they are at the right level. Safety first.

Cliff is all for the fake breast. He doesn't like real breasts because they disappear once he gets her on her back. I told him to do it doggystyle but he paid me no heed. Mike, on the other hand, likes them real because gravity has "loosened them up" and they are more fun to massage. Chewie, a hick from Tennessee who has been transplanted here, says he doesn't care as long as they are big enough to squeeze together for a tiddy-fuck (thank you, greg, for correcting my spelling). Danny likes them small because gravity has less effect on them but does prefer fake ones because they are rounder and don't vanish in the missionary position. Then the women began to pipe in.

Sarah says if she had the money she would definitely get hers done, just to recoup what was lost during childbirth. Eleanor, who is in her 50's, said if she had it to do over she would get them also just to make her nipples point the right direction. Didn't need the old tiddy visual, but I digress... Brenda said hers are natural and anytime the topic comes up she doesn't hesitate to brag. So based on her statement, implants are inferior to the real thing. Based on Cliff's, they are more fun if they are fake. Rhonda, our compliance bitch which I just can not stand, says it makes no difference because men can't tell the difference anyway.

I beg to differ. By the way, how the fuck is the market doing today? Oh, who gives a shit. It's your money, not mine.

Oink.