Thursday, June 24, 2004

Gooooooooooooooooooogle

In case you've never noticed, there is a counter at the very bottom of this blog. To the left is the SiteMeter icon because I am an analytical bastard despite my right-brained tendencies, hence my occupation/blogging hobby. About a week ago I noticed I was getting hits from referrals such as yahoo.com, msn.com and other major search engines. One individual did a search for "porn+cheetos" and found my blog, the nasty prick. Another did a search for "right-brained adult". Imagine his surprise when he clicked on my blog and found the topic of the day was road rage and how to fuck your fellow driver. MSN lists me as #6, Yahoo as #8 and Google, those sons of bitches, list me under the 19th "o" in Gooooooooooooooooooooooooogle. Fuck Google.

Early this morning I was getting a cup of coffee when someone grazed my ass. Initially assuming Cliff was in before the crack of noon, I whipped around ready for battle only to find Ms. Thang herself with a big grin on her face. Jasmine, by the way, is 5'10" and brunette with green eyes. She also has oranges and an ass that I can't wait to be given free reign with. She said to me, "Meet me on the 3rd floor of the parking garage and I'll fuck you until your eyes roll back into your head."

Fuck!

Now ladies, I knew she was only trying to get a rise out of me, LITERALLY, but that shit is so not fair! I bought 100 shares of AWE for someone today when I should have sold because I was picturing her spine as I had her doubled over the guard rail shouting my name while I released many months of frustration on her ass. But not her ass, you know what I mean. Now I am one worthless sack of shit. I can't think about anything other than taking her in every location I've ever imagined. The cinema, the garage, the supply room, MY OFFICE for damn sure if it weren't for the cameras, an elevator, the men's room, on her desk, in my chair, my house, her apartment, my jacuzzi, her SUV, the kitchen, on that big ass conference room table just begging for a pair of hot ass prints.

See, you women think that shit is funny, to screw with a guy's head that way. That's okay. She'll pay for for that shit and be begging me for mercy.