Friday, July 02, 2004

Fuck anonymity

It's July 4th weekend. I've decided to fuck anonymity and post a few pics of various shining moments in my life. I'm heading out, yo. "Drunk guy takes a piss on the street corner and his buddy says, 'Why didn't you do it in the alley?' The drunk shakes it off and says, 'Does this look like a fire hose to you?'"
Don't kill anyone/get anyone pregnant.


This is in California with some friends. That's my ex-girlfriend on the left, under my arm. She lived there. Not in California, between the 3rd and 4th ribs. I'm so glad I let her dump me.

This is me with Jeff Probst. He and I are so fucking tight I thought he was my ex-girlfriend for a while. Notice how Jeff is speaking to me without actually looking at me...almost as if he's not really speaking to me at all. But that's not true because I wouldn't be nearly as cool if I'd just been some jerkoff who slid along the rail so my buddy could snap the shot as if I were a part of the conversation. And what the fuck is up with that mullet I had? I remember getting dressed that morning thinking, "Jay, you da man!"

Through grit teeth and a fake smile, "Honey, will you stop taking pictures for fuck's sake and sit the fuck down?" And yes ladies, if you fly with Jay, you fly coach all the way!

"Mom, I'm tired, starving, thirsty, dirty, and four hours from finishing with two hours of sunlight left." And her reply, "Hush up and smile, Jay."

This is Sugar. She used to be a quarter horse. She ran so hard her nose bled every time, but never won a race. I'd never seen a horse try so hard in all my life. She lives with my old man, still.

Uncle Ray. He's a cranky old fart who never married. Can't figure why. He eats ranchero beans every day. Do you know what ranchero beans do to the digestive system? Yeah.

Weezer and Dash. Dash is the mom, she's the one in my face. Weezer is more timid and observant. Great damn dogs. Not like those pussy bitches with painted toenails and ribbons in their ears. These pups earn their keep.