Thursday, July 29, 2004

You wanna be a cowboy...

Last Friday I was in Kroger’s when I saw a man about my age standing in the check out line with a bouquet of colorful flowers. He was wearing his darkest wranglers, a shiny belt buckle the size of my palm, a starched, white button-down long sleeved shirt and a clean, crisp Stetson. I started thinking about the shit I’ve heard some folks say about cowboys, as if they are uneducated because sometimes they get dirt under their nails. I’m talking about real cowboys, men who’ve been working the livestock since they were tall enough to spit. Not some Levi wearing wannabe from Tallahassee with a chip on his shoulder. So I compiled a list of all the positives, just for those who didn’t know otherwise.

1. Cowboys say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir” to most everyone. We’re taught it from birth, unlike some who are never taught it at all.
2. Cowboys don’t cheat at cards.
3. If you’re on the side of the road with a flat tire and a man pulls over to help you fix it, then drives away before you can say Thank You, you just had an encounter with a cowboy.
4. You can bet the lazy S.O.B. collecting his monthly Welfare check is not, and has not ever been, a cowboy.
5. One thing you’ll never hear a cowboy say: “I slept ‘til noon today.”
6. One thing you will frequently hear a cowboy say: “You need a hand with that?”
7. Ask a cowboy to choose between a Jaguar full of luxuries and a 20 year old pick up full of memories, he’ll go for the pick up every time.
8. Cowboys don’t air their dirty laundry and don’t tolerate well those who do.
9. There is more honor in a handshake between cowboys, than in a 3 inch thick contract between two attorneys.
10. Cowboys don’t hit women. Cowards do.

I hope the young lady who received those flowers last Friday appreciated them, because he sure as hell must appreciate her.

Cowboy up.