Friday, August 06, 2004

Do the math, bitches!

It’s Tax Free Weekend in Texas. It’s something Bush put in place when he was governor. Basically, all purchases of clothing, shoes and various other items are exempt from the state’s 8.25% sales tax. I believe sales tax is lower in other states, but we don’t pay state income taxes so it balances out I suppose.

Back to my point, and trust me, there isn’t one, the malls are packed today like a bunch of Mexicans in an 18 wheeler being smuggled across the border. Oh, shut up, it’s true. What I don’t get is why people flock to the stores, ringing up $1,000 in shirts and shoes and pants from Kohl’s and JCPenny before the sales tax exemption ends at midnight Sunday. Why am I not surprised trailer trash floods every Wal-Mart within shooting distance, like an army of ants following the stench of death? It’s an 8% discount people! What the fuck are you rushing the stores in hoards for? 8%! Hell, even that red apple sale Foley’s runs every quarter is 30-50%. Do the fucking math you imbeciles.

The roads are jammed. The highways are at a standstill. Red lights have a waiting period of at least 10 changes before you get through. It’s a hundred-fucking-eight degrees out there and I’m sweating like a $2 dollar whore on nickel night trying to navigate across a 6 lane overchange stuck in gridlock. I can’t get in to pay for a motherfucking pair of jogging shorts because the checkout lines wrap around the store. I’ll pay DOUBLE the tax if someone would just check me the fuck out in 1 hour or less! I got so pissed off with this chaotic bullshit I dropped my shorts atop the arm load of full price, tax free clothes the special education bitch behind me was holding and spent 90 minutes making a 13 mile drive home. Fuck it. I’ll run naked.