Monday, August 30, 2004

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

I was scanning some of your blogs tonight. Got a gander of a couple of Filipino boys at Leese's place, Jenn reminded me that I haven't written this week's story for Fizzle & Pop, and I have noticed either Nita has 14 newborn infants or she really likes to photograph the one little niña a whole helluva lot. I saw several blogplates have changed, some thanks to Big Daddy James, some just new templates. A couple of them had some pretty cool things incorporated, like Kelly's blog which has metamorphed overnight. So this sent me out on my own journey to seek and explore.

I scanned some free template sites to see if anyone had some cool new ideas I could lift and claim as my own. What I learned, unfortunately, is that I'm not hip enough to understand the fucking instructions as to what the damn thing is. For instance:

hmmm. my 1st skin. 1st tyme d0ing diis. h0pe y0uu all lyk it... plz leave ur c0mments! thnz a milli0n! diis iis a skin... a picture sh0wing sumb0die drawingg a heart 0n da sand. itx quite sweet. mayb ish f0r gurls cuz itx c0l0r is mainlyy pynk and purple. kekeez... quite nice actuallie. c it f0r urself.

Are you fucking kidding me? What in the name of Christ is that shit up there? I was sure I'd stumbled across some freak of nature with 49 piercings in his face because his daddy didn't beat him enough when he was a child so I moved on to the next one and found this:

In response to iceattitude... Its not mi editin it wif da photoshop... I get the image frm getty images..i simply juz crop da pic out of da original one... if ya guys don like it don take it... N it has nth to wif any defects... Like it take it, don like it.. den don take it...I'm so sad wif all this comments.. each commentin on it bein bad... izzit realliz tat bad? Nvm.. One more thing, if ya don like da music juz change it.. Don tell mi ya don like da music or wat... i put tat music is juz to create da image of bein happi.. Will ya guys understand? For the past skins.. all r depressin.. now i wanna make a happi one.. it turns out tiz way.. Nvm.. Like it.. Take it..tats all...I oreadi alter those things ya guys don like... but as fer da pic.. i cant do anythin..

That son of a bitch right there needs an ass whipping. I think in the middle somewhere he might have insulted my Mama. It took me 15 goddamn minutes just to read the shit and translate it back into English from Illiterate Retard.

You literately challenged motherfucker! Where in the hell were you at the day they taught the rest of us the difference between Geek and Ghetto? That shit just doesn't work. Pick one, dammit! Geek...Ghetto...Geek...Ghetto. Bitch! Go get a shitty job and have some shitty experiences in life so you can grow the fuck up and write a shitty blog. Like me. And use English, you third ward motherfucker wannabe.