Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Almost out of the closet

Jasmine slipped up today. It was fucking great! She works with a broker two offices down from me so her desk is two desks away from Sarah’s whose is directly in front of my door. Therefore, I pretty much hear her voice all day long. Our phones are tied together so anytime one of us gets a call it shows up on all of the our phones at the same time. Sometimes I call her on an outside line so nobody knows it’s me and I talk shit to her because I can hear her, in stereo, trying to answer my questions truthfully while not blowing her cover.

Me: You know what I want to do to you?
Jazz: No, sir, I don’t believe I have that information.
Me: I want to back you against the wall and nibble your neck until you squirm.
Jazz: Well I can certainly do that for you, sir. Do you need to speak with Rich now?


Sting is playing at the Pavilion this weekend and one of the brokers was given a pair of comp tickets by a wholesaler. Under the table, of course, since the SEC supposedly outlawed that shit. He was walking around the office today asking people if they wanted to buy them from him, cheap prick. This is what I heard:

Prick: Jasmine, would you like to buy a ticket to see Sting?
Jazz: I wouldn’t care to go alone.
Prick: I have two. Take your boyfriend.
Jazz: He doesn’t like Sting.

DAMN! I looked up the same time Sarah did and saw her whip around to stare open-mouthed at Jasmine. Oh, shit, Jazz is in for it now! She’s been telling people she didn’t have a boyfriend so they wouldn’t hound her for details she’d have to lie about. I wanted to laugh my ass off. The broker talking to her didn’t know any better and just walked off. But that’s when Sarah got up and moved in.

I grabbed the phone quickly and called Jazz from an outside line. Just as the phone rang I heard Sarah say, “So Jazz…hiding a boyfriend from us, huh?”

Jazz picked up the phone before answering. “Thank you for calling Big Financial Firm. This is Jasmine, how may I help you?”

“Tell her you lied to shut him up.”

“Oh thank you, sir. I appreciate you getting back with me so quickly.”

“You owe me a kiss.”

“I’ll have Rich send you one.”

Two seconds later I heard my words in Jasmine’s ever professional tone followed by the disappointed, “Aw! I thought you had some juicy news,” from Sarah.

I think I’ll have her give the kiss to Big Jay. Hot damn I’m one lucky bastard!