Friday, September 03, 2004

Floridiots

Who the fuck are these people in Florida rushing out to buy plywood for their windows? Holyshit, asswipe, is this the first goddamn hurricane the state has ever had? What the fuck did you do with the lumber from the last hurricane nine hours ago? "Honey, I'm'll gonna throw this here wood away now that it's sunny outside and all. Don't reckon we'll be needin' tuh block out the sunlite, rite?"

Those people should have a "Oh Shit Here Comes Another One" corner in their attics piled high with crap like lumber, flashlights, duct tape - because we all know if you can't duct it, fuck it - bottled water and whatever the hell they bought last time and threw out just to have to replace it today! And for the love of Christ, if your house has 18 fucking wheels beneath it then you deserve to die for being stupid enough to drive that shit to Florida in the first place. Drown, motherfucker, drown!

What if Continental Airlines did that shit? "Thanks for traveling Continental Flight 1879 non-stop into Houston. Please be sure to gather all of your belongings as this plane will be demolished now that we've arrived." Why the fuck, not? Flight's over, right?

Shit! Who do we have in Florida? Kat? Kat, answer me! Are you surprised to hear there's a hurricane in the Atlantic?

And another thing while I'm good and irate about the shit. Why the fuck do people who can't get around without a walker and 40 minutes to spare between the living room and the kitchen move to a freaking state that evacuates it's residents six times a year? Answer me! "What's up paw paw? Your knees hurt and you can't get around anymore? Why don't you move to that hurricane penis hanging off the east coast and find ya a nice condo right on the Intercoastal? Yee haw! Git'er done!"

Can I get a "Hell, yeah!"?