Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Lovely. More fucking questions

Lucky you, I decided my crap post of the week shall be today. So rather than be original, witty, amazing – oh wait, that was only in a sex dream – charming and perplexingly impressive, I decided to rip off el sid’s post and be a big, fat, copy cat. Meow.

1. What time is it? 9:57pm central
2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Jay Alan Stud
3. Nicknames: JJ
4. Piercings: one in each ear. Neither of which helped me get laid.
5. Eye color: brown cuz I’m so full of shit
6. Place of birth: tejas
7. Favorite Food: thick cut of filet mignon cooked rare with asparagus and bearnaise sauce.
8. Ever been to Africa? What the fuck kind of question is this? Is anybody answering yes?? Retards.
9. Ever been toilet papering? Yes. That bitch deserved it.
10. Love someone so much it made you cry? My mom
11. Been in a car accident? Many. Rolled my truck once during a blow job.
12. Croutons or bacon bits: fuck the crusty bread, gimme the pig
13. Favorite day of the week: saturday
14. Favorite Restaurant: Papa’s Brothers Steakhouse
15. Favorite flower: the vulva
16. Favorite sport to watch: women’s tennis. Oooooooooooooh yeah. sherapova wants me.
17. Favorite drink: 16 yr old lagavulin
18. Favorite ice cream: blue bell butter pecan
19. Disney or Warner Bros.: warner brothers. Disney fucking pisses me off. ever notice how disney comes out with a film 2 months before another company whose idea was out there first? Like deep impact vs. armageddon or bug’s life vs. ants. try being original fockers. Like me.
20. Favorite fast food restaurant: subway
21. What color is your bedroom carpet? Damn, I know this one. umm, fuck don’t know. Light beige, tall pile with a fancy french name I can’t remember.
22. How many times did you fail your driver’s license test? Please. Aced it. Made a 100 on my motorcycle test. Oh yes, you’re impressed.
23. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? From the dave and apparently I need a sugar pops decoder ring to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about. Wait a second…….ah, I get it! You fucking bastard, you got something against verbs?
24. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? none. Credit cards are not my friend. credit cards are not anyone's friend.
25. What you do most often when you are bored? Masturbate. Then take a nap.
26. Bed time: after orgasm, regardless of who was/was not present at the time
27. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Your momma
28. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Your momma’s momma
29. Favorite TV shows: CSI, the real one. because it’s so fucking realistic to what being a CSI is really like.
30. Last person you went out to dinner with: my woman
31. Ford or Chevy? GMC, but Chevy if I don’t have a choice
32. What are you listening to right now? 10 o’clock news
33. What is your favorite color? blue
34. Lake, ocean or river? ocean
35. How many tattoos do you have? Nada. Can’t risk any identifying marks
36. Ever run out of gas? Yep. Bessie used to have a faulty gas needle. Kept a gas can in the bed for whenever she stranded me twenty miles from anywhere in hillbilly land.