Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Damn, she's lucky to have me.

I will learn to enjoy Ivy’s existence. Sometimes for no good reason you just want to whip it out and piss on the first bastard to come along. But you can’t because that’s wrong and you know you’d feel guilty afterwards. Besides, it’s illegal to urinate on a passerby in some states. But Ivy fills that passerby role quite well, metaphorically. Plus, I think her dick might be bigger than mine which definitely drives me to get the best digs in.

The rest of Saturday night was spent exchanging barbs under our breath. Whenever Jasmine went to the bathroom, walked too far away to hear, or napped, which is quite freaking often, I might add. Jesus, how much sleep does a woman need with two pinto beans leeching off her vitals? Good god, woman, you’re not building a ballpark up in there. Damn attention hound.

I also learned who Matthew is. He’s some loser she dated about three years ago. The sorry jerkoff can’t hold a job from what I hear. He was a firefighter for a while, then the precinct 3 commissioner for a few years, then the youngest mayor ever in Yada-Yada-Ville and apparently pushing for a spot in the state legislature next term. Unstable bastard. And then there’s some shit about owning a small plane he flies himself, probably because he can’t drive as good as me. And I bet he’s never come in second in a “Hottest Ass” competition at The Longhorn, either, uppity bastard. Yes, ma’am, Jazz got herself the cream of the crop right here. You should all be so lucky.

I bought Jasmine diamond earrings today for Christmas. I went directly through a discounter. They’re just small studs, nothing dangly. She’s not the dangly, big ass J-Lo hoops type. And before I forget, I’m taking her across the border for a little R&R (poker & craps) so I won’t be blogging again until maybe Wednesday night or Thursday morning. Go read my archives or some shit and pretend it’s like the first time. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder how the fuck you ever stayed on board this long. Sheer boredom, my friend. That’s all I can gather.