Thursday, January 13, 2005

Jay the Wedding Planner

9:00AM - Called my sister today and told her the news.

Julie: Hello?
Me: Hey
Julie: Hey
Me: Jazz and I are going to the courthouse Friday, 11:30. Wanna come?
Julie: You marrying her?
Me: Yep
Julie: Better hurry before she changes her mind.
Me: No shit. Can you loan her something?
Julie: Sure.
Me: Bring a camera.

9:05AM - Called my old man.

Dad: Yeah? (He never says hello, he always answer with “yeah?”)
Me: Hey
Dad: What’s up, boy?
Me: Jazz and I are getting married Friday. At the JP.
Dad: I’ll be damned.
Me: Why is that?
Dad: Thought she was smarter than that.
Me: You thought wrong. Can you stand beside her, crip?
Dad: Wouldn’t miss it.

9:11AM - Wrote a note to mom.

Met a girl. You’d like her. She says you raised me right, so kudos to you. We’re getting married Friday. Julie’s letting her wear the pearl earrings you left her. Miss you.

9:16AM - Called my boy, Jason.

Jason: Hello?
Me: Hey
Jason: Who’s this?
Me: Fuck you, man. I’m getting married Friday.
Jason: To that tall brunette?
Me: Yep
Jason: Get out! She said yes?
Me: Lick my nut. Beers tonight at Rookies. Bachelor’s party.

9:26AM - Called the BM from my office to his.

BM: How’s it going Big Dog? (What an asshole.)
Me: I’ll be out Friday.
BM: Why?
Me: I have an appointment with a judge.
BM: Power! Get a MAC with Calamos.
Me: Uh huh.

9:29AM - Called Jasmine.

Her: Hello?
Me: All done. This wedding shit’s a piece of cake. I can't believe people get paid to do this.

Today is Thursday. We have gathered $365 through Paypal on Savannah’s behalf so far. Deadline is tomorrow at midnight if you want me to match it. I’ve got more than that in my wallet right now. You guys must be taking it easy on me.