Monday, February 14, 2005

Spooks

I was up watching Best of Autopsy on HBO tonight. I hate shows like that, and yet I watched it. I knew it was gonna be bad when the words “corpse” and “vaginal tube” were used in the same sentence. Some people are just fucked up. Then I completely freaked out when a mug shot was shown and the city and state was the very same small city I was living in at the time of his arrest. Population 12,000 which included me and the murdering, corpse-fucker.

My cell phone just beeped and scared the shit out of me. I don’t do scary movies and that includes gruesome autopsies. Jasmine wants to see White Noise where they record the voices of people after they’re dead. That Jason and Freddy crap bores me. The Hollywood gore festivals are stupid. You got Hannibal chowing down on Peggy Sue? Yuck, but whatever. But you go and throw a fucking ghost up into the mix and you’ll hear my little bitch scream for miles. M. Night Shyamalan can kiss my motherfucking ass. I ain’t sticking around. That scene in the Sixth Sense where the kid is taking a leak and the dead housewife walks past, damn man, it was weeks before I could piss again without watching the doorway. I sprayed down so many urinals, toilets and floors it wasn't even funny.

Jasmine is in the bedroom alone. I better go in there in case she wakes up and needs comforting.