Monday, March 21, 2005

Good girl

I spoke with Jasmine about allowing the blog friends she didn’t know she had to throw her a baby shower. She answered just the way I expected her to, but I gave her a few days to think about it. I knew she’d come around and I knew she’d do just what she did. Damn, I’m good. So this is what she has decided.

Understandably, we both do not want people buying us gifts we can easily afford on our own and probably don’t need anyway. If you ask me, most of this shit is all commercial hype anyway. Except for disposable diapers. Those are genius.

So we would prefer anybody wishing to participate in Jazz’s Cyber Shower instead to purchase a gift for herself, or “himself” if you’re that into baby showers, and if you are, dude, why are you reading my blog? Snap a photo of your gift once it arrives, email it to Jasmine, and she’ll create a photo album with all of the “baby shower” photos in it on her blog. Feel free to make it a photo of yourself wearing it or holding it, even better. If it’s a bikini, panty or bra those photos are to be mailed to me instead. Unless, again, you are a man in which case don’t even fucking dare or I will post that shit online in a nanosecond. I’m serious, Jack.

But there’s a catch. Sucks, huh?

Just as with any registry, you don’t get to pick the store. Your purchases must be made from this store. Is my wife sneaky, or what? Set your own price, I don’t give a damn. It’s your gift. You get presents, St. Jude Children’s Hospital gets donations, and my wife gets a warm fuzzy feeling every time she looks at my sweet, perky ass and knows I fathered her children. Talk about a win/win/win situation. It’s a damn good thing they broke the mold after me.

She didn’t offer a date yet for her virtual shower, but I figure the kids aren’t here yet so you got time. Maybe she’ll set something later on. It's not a requirement. She's not taking names. Just an idea for those who have specifically asked for something to do.

In a totally different direction, this weekend we went to Galveston since it was so pleasant outside. As we were walking out of The Aquarium there was a 9 year old girl standing at the turnstile, crying. Shit, kids cry, I wasn’t paying any attention to her. I glanced at the kid and opened my mouth, but she panicked and started to run away. Jasmine called out to her, asking if she knew where her mother was and the damn kid nearly fell to pieces.

Jasmine hugged her and held her up against the wall o'belly while she asked her some questions. She told the girl they would stand right there while I looked for her mom. I was sent back into the maze of massive fish/shark/seal tanks to find a redhead named Mary in a green shirt with a baby stroller and an infant son named Jacob with blonde hair. Kid was a regular fountain of information. I found Mom sitting on a bench, oblivious to the whereabouts of her oldest offspring.

I confirmed who she was then told her to wait there and I’d be back. When I got back Jasmine and the young girl were chatting about the 3-D Shark movie playing at the IMAX next door. We all walked back to the mom who gave her once-lost-now-found daughter an unhappy glare and completely disregarded us.

I choose to keep my opinion to myself on Mom. But to little Marissa, who stood stationery near the exit and then ran when a strange (yet dashingly handsome) man tried to talk to her – good girl.