Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Impregnated Uteri

My timing sucks. I finally told Jasmine last night I had no problem with her staying home with the kids if she wanted to. Or even with her going back to school for her Master’s which she’s mentioned before that she wished she’d gotten. We talked it over at length and it looks like she’s gonna do it.

Then I got to work this morning and Sarah informed me she’s 2 months pregnant.

Well, fuck.

So just about the time Jasmine should be, but won’t be, returning we’ll be wheeling Sarah’s ass out the door for a couple of months. Not to be selfish and insensitive, but does this mean I’m gonna have to fill out my own new account forms? Dammit to hell! And what if she gets the brilliant idea to stay home with her kids, too? I am so screwed.

Sarah’s been yucking it up with Jasmine all morning out there. I wish she’d shut the fuck up. She just found out yesterday. I knew I should have been suspicious when she left for a doctor’s appointment and then called to tell me she wouldn’t be back that day.

“Where are you buying clothes? What does it feel like? Is it tight? Can you bend over and touch your toes?” Why would she want to? “Are you scared? I’m scared. You’re tall. I’ll look like a butter ball! What color are you painting the nurseries? Are you still throwing up?”

Shut the fuck up!

Four more months of the dueling mothers. Maybe I’ll be glad for the peace and quiet by the time they leave.