Thursday, March 24, 2005

Nice hose

The service went well this morning. It was a graveside, quiet and small. We all headed over to my uncle’s place a few miles from the cemetery and sat around shooting the shit for a few hours, telling stories. Julie was there with Katy, but The Professor couldn’t make it.

The stories were all flattering at first, then after the beer started to settle in they got a little more interesting. Julie started talking about how good kids have it nowadays. She said when we were kids there was no air conditioner, no heater, Momma would make us play outside regardless of the temperature so she could get some peace of mind and we couldn’t come back into the house for any reason. We had to drink out of the hose and she used to squat behind the shed to pee.

And out of nowhere, it hit me. A memory buried so deep I might have never recalled it had she not said something. I started laughing, covered my face and turned beet red as I remembered what I used to do. They all thought I’d lost my mind.

“Hey, Jules,” she’s gonna fucking kill me, “I never told you this, but you know how you just said Momma wouldn’t let us in the house to get a drink or take a leak?”

I got a very apprehensive and silent stare.

“Well, I used to, uh, you know,” I used my hands to make the motions.

Jasmine figured it out first. “Jay, you didn’t!”

“You know,” I held my hands at my crotch like I was holding something, “in the hose.”

Every fucking one of them started shouting and hollering. My sister just stared at me with her mouth open. Jasmine covered her eyes and apologized to Julie on my behalf.

“You peed in the water hose? The one that I drank out of?!”

Nothing like a death to bring a family together.