Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The A part of Q&A.

Ok Jay, when was the first time you got laid, and di you have to pay for it?

Gravatar1) What is your favourite colour?
2) What is your middle name?
3) What colour are my knickers?


Shoe size? :P

GravatarAre you a pathological liar? Didn't anything else worth blogging about happen today? Will you post these answers Tuesday?

Have you ever fantasized about gay sex?
i bet you have....don't lie.

what saying your parents used on you as a kid do you hope you won't be repeating?

Found myself saying "Sorry isn't good enough" yesterday to Amy and groaned inwardly. I am my mother... noooo.

GravatarDo you dress to the right or to the left?

GravatarWhich blogger would you most like to meet. And don't worry, I'm not expecting you to say me! I have my bets as to who I think it is, though...

GravatarCan I borrow some money?

GravatarHaha, if you had to have a homosexual experience, who would it be with?

Gravatarwhat is your favorite women's perfume? And because I can be some what twisted... I like Khaki's question above. LOL

Gravatarwhere do you see yourself in 21 years when the twinnies are all grown?

GravatarWhat is your dream job? and don't say the one you have now.

What is the strangest place you have ummmm, practiced self gratification?

Have you ever been busted while in the midst of gratification?

Athlete, crippled people stall in an office building, so many times…

GravatarDo you like Roller Coasters and if so what is your favorite one to ride and what one do you hope to ride someday?

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Notice I ask questions about my favorite things? After all it is all about me.

Gravatarthere're some twisted sons of bitches up in here

Gravatar1. What does your sister think of Jazz?
2. Are you going to get another dog?
3. Do you like to cook?



Give us some detail as to the first time you proudly wore Jazz's lipstick rings to work. Please?

Just how big is the lil guy?... lie if it helps...

GravatarDo you talk a lot of smack about Jazz here, but butter her ass at home? LOL

GravatarWhat's the best advice you ever got?

What's the best advice you ever gave?

how much plastic surgery did you have done to get jazz to marry you?

GravatarLMAO @ ED.

Damn. Need time to think of a good question

were there any times in your youth when the farm animals may have been to much a temptation for your raging hormones?!

GravatarIf a Monday Night Lifetime movie were made about your life, who (other than John Stamos) would play you and who would play Jasmine?

GravatarWhen are you going to tell Jazz about us?

How do you suppose she'll treat the child we have together?

Do you think she'll kill you?

How do you want your funeral? Cremation or burial?

Last but not least...
Can I have my thong back? I don't want it in your collection anymore now that you're married...you might get in trouble with the wifey if she found it...

Who is your favorite author?
Boxers or briefs?
What's your favorite junk food?
Cheetos. Except during porn. Turns Big Jay orange.
What's your computer screen background right now?
What (physical thing) are you afraid of?
What (non-physical thing) are you afraid of?
Losing another family member to cancer.
sadly, that's as creative as I can get this morning...*sigh*

Why do people keep asking you if you are gay?

Does Jasmine really exist or are you secretly pretending to be a woman?

GravatarDid you mean it?

GravatarWhat's the worst thing you ever got away with without getting busted?

What are your thoughts about being the father of a girl? Are you scared that a guy as horney as you will get a hold of her when she's still in high school?

Have you ever been caught in the act by your parents or another adult?

Do you want one of our dogs? 3 80+ pound dogs doesn't cut it when you have a 9 year old son and are trying to get pregnant.

Did you and Jazz really have "procedures" while she was wearing Ivy's wedding dress? Was it great?

What is your best childhood memory?
What memories are you going to make sure that you children have?

Does Jazz ever slap you in the back of the head?

GravatarI just have one question. With all the wonderful attributes that Jasmine possesses, what is the one thing about her that you love the most?

what are the three things you wished you did but didn't because you're a lily-livered sissy boy?

How would you rate a farm animal(goat, pig, chicken, etc.) as a sex partner, as compared with the 'women' you've been with?

How badly do you wanna smack all of us for asking these riduculous and extremely private but thought-provoking questions?

IS the Pope catholic?

Dd you REALLY meet Jeff Probst or was it a slick graphic manipulation? My whole life is a slick graphic manipulation.

How long have you been a broker?

What led you down that career path?

How often do you wear a cowboy hat?

Hey Jay...Have you ever been to Canada? If so where?

GravatarWhat is your favorite song of all time?

GravatarIf you were on Celebrity Poker Showdown, what other four celebrities would you want at the table?

Which of them would you like to see go "all in" first?

Whom would it give you the most satisfaction to take all their chips and send them to the Loser's Lounge in tears?

Can you come visit us in Chicago? We'll fix the air mattress if you do.

With airplane restrooms so small, do you think people are just lying about being in the mile-high club?

If not, please advise on proper positions.

GravatarWhat is the one quirk about Jazz that bothers you the most?
She’s never wrong.
What is your favorite meal to cook and or eat?
Spaghettios/anything other than spaghettios.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
my old man
Are you planning on raising your kids in a church environment?
fuck no.
Do you have a fear that one day you'll lose your job and not be able to provide for Jazz and the kids?
only 50 times a day
Do you like your name.....that is if Jay IS your real name?
yes. It’s much cooler than “kristin,” don’t you think?
What's the one thing you've done in public that totally embarrassed yourself?
You secretly watch The Bachelor with Jazz, don't you? Hell no! But charlie’s an idiot for keeping Sarah W. around. She’s not even hot.

GravatarI just have one more to add to this big pile....

Are you going to really answer all these questions? Or are you going to blow 'em all off for "sex night"?

GravatarWho would you go gay for?

GravatarHey Jay, it's dull and cold here in Europe, brighten our days...
so for me..

Does Jazz read your blog?
Do you read hers?

tee hee... what a laugh.. you two...

GravatarWho would you go gay for?
Beth | Homepage | 04.19.05 - 2:49 pm

O.k., some of the cute ones need to stay straight. We need his DNA for the gene pool. :op

GravatarAre you wishing you never posted this blog entry?

have you ever had a 3-way? if so when?
All the time. Big Jay requires both hands.
have you ever been arrested? if so, for what?
Yes. Stupid shit.
how tall are you?
little over 6’1”
favorite food?
and finally, would you rather: (a) burp then taste it; or (b) fart then waste it? Who says a fart is wasted? Gotta release it in your buddy’s office. Then close him up in there with it.

GravatarI need a job. Help a brother out?

GravatarWho will be the first person you call when the babies are born?

I think some of these questions have already been covered in past blog entries, but here's some more. Please describe the:
-Biggest lie you ever told. But honey, I love you!
-Stupidist thing you ever did. Told her best friend I loved her too.
-Closest you ever came to death. When they both found out.
-Weirdest thing that ever happened to you. When they got turned on by it and started coming onto me.
-Most angry you've ever been. When I woke up and realized it was all a dream.
-Most scared you've ever been. When my girlfriend asked why I was air-humping in my sleep.
-Happiest moment of your life. Yet to come.
-Most impt to you single thing that you still hope to achieve/gain/have in the future that you don't have now. Are these questions every going to end?
-most unusual sexual fetish/desire that you have ever had. There is nothing unusual about sexual fetishes and desires, chica. Get it straight.

Name three places, one where you'd want to stay -
a week California
a month Australia
a year Europe

Do you fantasize about a woman's underwear? What sort do you imagine?

1) When's the next marathon or race and what's your goal regarding time, if any?
2) Let's say you can do a 7:30 mile for the first 15 miles, and you want to speed up for the next five, figuring you need an hour for the last 10K... if so... how long you gonna keep up this charade, and admit you're crashing in the stables on a emu farm down in Oaxaca, Mexico, where you get paid in emu egg tamales and internet time?
2) If you were running out of ideas for blog entries... why didn't you just ask me?

1. Sunday. Goal time: Sunday. As opposed to Monday.

2. Pie.

3. Because you have an obvious bias against the number 3 that offends me.

GravatarOh! another Q - do you have a brother called Randy Montez?

Umm, no. You don’t get any more questions.

Holy Hell ... as of right now, if I counted right, you have 118 questions to answer.

4) What famous person do you idolize? I don’t.
5) You're in a room with Saddam Hussein, Darth Vader, Hannibal Lechter, Lady MacBeth and the CEOs from Enron. Who gets the first bitch-slap? Yo Momma
6) What's your favorite restaurant in Houston? Benihana’s
7) What are the simple things in life that give you happiness (aside from the wife, the kids and the left palm)? The right palm
8) Why do fools fall in love? Because it’s cleaner than falling in horse shit.
9) Nearly every other long-term blogger has met another long-term blogger... except you... why don't you take a trip up from Oaxaca and visit someone? I have met one.
10) You're up to 125 questions so far. Are you sorry you did this now? Nope.

GravatarWhy do you blog?
so people like you will ask me why I do it.

And what do you think of Yahoo! 360? Still haven’t tried it yet. I’ve been a little overwhelmed answering a bunch of fucking questions, in case you hadn’t noticed.

GravatarYour invest in? And why?
Short & long term advice for $20,000.

Stocks, bonds & mutual funds. See a broker.